To people who are about to get married

Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished.

Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I am still paying for it."

Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: "That happens in most countries son."

There was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair?

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds of letters saying the same thing, "You can have mine."