Thursday, June 18, 2009
Chilly Q&A
1. Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
2. Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
3. Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
4. Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
5. Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
6. Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
7. Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
8. Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
9. Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Most Creative & Cool Business Cards
100% discreet business cards for head hunter Aert van Seggelen. Completely edible business cards with 'read it then eat it' instruction.
Business card from a second hand store.
Business card from "Lush Lawn and Property Enhancement." The business cards were letter pressed by hand and stuffed with grass seed. The best thing about them is when you hand one out, the seeds shake and instantly pay off the idea.
Business card from a Divorce lawyer. The perforated card demonstrates what divorce lawyers can do.
Business card from a Couples Therapist.
Business card from a Graphics Designer.
Business card from a Furniture Company.
Business card from an Acupuncturist.
Business card from a Dentist.
Hazards of Coke
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway! after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl & let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.
9. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
For Your Info:
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.
! Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2 To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!
Interesting Facts
-Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.
-You use 200 muscles to take one step.
-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
-There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.
(At this very moment I know well you are putting this last fact to the test :-)
To people who are about to get married
Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished.
Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I am still paying for it."
Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in most countries son."
There was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair?
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds of letters saying the same thing, "You can have mine."
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